Too Little, Not Too Late

My sister (the beauty in the featured image) is no stranger to receiving gifts which fall short of her high bar. I have yet to see her give a gift causing anything less than someone beaming at its thoughtfulness. From these reactions, I know Lindsey gets more out of giving a gift than receiving one.

Her joy in gift giving speaks volumes to the type of person she is. I could write a book on how amazing she is as a person. Perhaps one day I will, but on her 20^th birthday, a week before Thanksgiving, I had yet to think of a gift for her. I had passed the Amazon Prime deadline, and desperate to think of something small to send to her on her birthday thus buying me time to find a ‘real’ gift to give her over Thanksgiving.

While sitting on the train, reading my book, I decided I would write her a letter; which developed into a list of five things I wished someone had told me on my twentieth birthday. (I know, a whopping two years ago).

She has agreed to let me share a revised version with you, which I will, in pieces.

I ask while you read, you take this like a shot of tequila, with a grain of salt, because, let’s face it I don’t have anything remotely figured out. Regardless, here is the first of five things I wish I knew sooner,

1. Life might be short, but your twenties are shorter.

When I was nineteen and single (I say this as if my relationship status has changed which if anything I am more single now then I was back then), I thought I had a lifetime ahead of me. I had loads of time to enjoy college, talk to boys (another unreal expectation), and simply enjoy being young.

A year later reality hit me, on by my 20^th birthday. I realized, or at least I thought, I had wasted the last decade of my life. By the time my Mom was 20 she had moved to a new country, met my Dad, and started her life. What, the hell, was I doing? If anything, I had taken six steps back in the last year alone. Single without prospects, trying to figure out what career path I wanted and how to get there, stuck living in a dorm room and (what seemed) worst of all hating my major.

I hated politics to the degree where I woke up on several mornings with the intention to head straight to the registrar’s office to fill out the change of major form. The only thing stopping me was the two remaining classes I needed to complete. Quitting now would be completely pointless. No matter how anxious the thought of writing a senior thesis made me.

By twenty-one, I realized two things. First, I didn’t hate my major, what I hated was that I had no idea how I would use it after I graduated, and that was what scared me the most. Second, I realized my Mom might have been twenty when she met my Dad, but my Dad was 28 when he met my Mom; 28 seemed much more practical than 20.

Think about everything you can accomplish in eight years! Seriously, if you’re 20 now, eight years ago you were twelve. I’m 22, so eight years ago I was a 14-year-old high school freshman and my biggest concern was if I was ever going to grow boobs.

I had a ‘life is short’ mindset. I was trying to cram everything in. If you try to accomplish finishing school, meeting someone, starting a career, moving out, starting a family in a ten-year time span, well, you’re rushing everything.

These are the moments which make up life. They are supposed to take time, they are supposed to take a lifetime! You should truly enjoy each of them without rushing to the next part.

In dance, we are often told to finish each piece of a step before rushing into the next. I can see my Mom standing beside the stereo, fighting to be louder than the music “You have time! The music gives you enough time!”

Life gives you enough time. And yeah I know you’re thinking “life can end any second, only the good die young blah, blah, blah”. And you’re right, sometimes life doesn’t give someone enough time and that sucks. Seriously, I have no other words for it, it just sucks.

But, it sucks a whole lot more if the little time someone has is wasted worrying, and cramming instead of paying attention to the details. Find the balance between not having enough time and having a lifetime. Your twenties are too short to do EVERYTHING, and your life is too short to waste ten years stressed over when all of life’s exciting parts will begin. (Pro Tip- the exciting parts, the happy parts, they have already started, just look up from your cell phone).